Pinoy Writers Online

Sometimes we tend to think that what matters to us matters to others as well.  What we always forget is that sometimes what we treasure in our hearts doesn't mean anything to other people.  What's really sad about it is the people we thought would understand don't  really care, worst, they don't even give a damn, at all.  This is a story about this sad reality...

I had a best friend in high school.  We shared almost everything.  We laughed at almost anything.  He was the best best friend in the world.  On our senior year I heard rumors circling about the room that my best friend had fallen in love with me.  I was more hurt than shocked, I didn't really saw him in that light, romance just didn't fit in the picture.  When the rumor was confirmed I started avoiding him, never talked to him again.  It was the saddest four months in my high school life.  I pretended I didn't see him coming, eyes begging to be noticed, be talked to.  He would stand behind me waiting for me to turn around, but all those time I was harsh to him.  We graduated and I never saw him again.  And though almost ten years had passed I have been wanting to say sorry.  Recently, I searched him on the net.  I sent him a message saying I was sorry for what I did to him.  He said it was cool and that it was years ago.  I was relieved and happy.  Sadly, I never heard from him since.  And I'm too shy to send him another message.  I guess it was just me that what happened ten years ago was a big deal.  All these time I was kind of expecting that he was waiting for my apology but I was wrong.  It just doesn't matter to him anymore.  And though I was hoping we could start again, as friends, it hit me that his silence meant that it was all in my head that we mattered, that we could still exist.  But what do I expect, I hurt him, just serves me right.  It's just that I kept this in my heart for years, I've looked for him for so long only to find out now that it was just all in my mind...